i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
