Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
