She announced her abortion via fbk
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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