so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
