so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
