Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize