The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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