That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
being pregnant is like rehab
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
