i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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