STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
