I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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