it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
