How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
