it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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