Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
