The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
