Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
