My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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