Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
where does the pee come out of this thing
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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