I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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