so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
