Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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