come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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