i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
