I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
