I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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