You're earring is so big in my mouth
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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