I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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