my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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