...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I canβt even do that #singlelife
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