WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
