We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
