He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
