this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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