god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
