So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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