Sry I called you an 8
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
What did we do last night that was yellow?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Randomize
