Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
