is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
