I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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