Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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