how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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