im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
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TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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