I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
