We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
