Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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