Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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