After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
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It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
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Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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