no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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