We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
