Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
