What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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