She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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