Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
