My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
