Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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