whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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