and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize