The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
