You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
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She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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