my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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