True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
