He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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