Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
