After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I didn't notice because vodka
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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