He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Small penises have feelings too.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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