yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
