we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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