put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
we're so committed to being not committed
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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